How Slow Living Is Helping Me Heal From Burnout

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Everything needed to change.

And I mean everything.

I was chronically exhausted, wondering when I’d be able to rest guilt-free without having my mind drift to thoughts about the deadlines and people I was constantly chasing.

Meals were something I squeezed in when I remembered that I had to eat. And because I was always in a rush, fast food was often my easiest option.

‘Sleep’ was crawling into bed past midnight, then tossing and turning until 5am, when I had to be up again, or waking up at 3am soaked in sweat, my heart feeling like I was running a marathon.

If I managed to go back to sleep, I’d wake up and instantly be flooded with dread because I felt so trapped in the vicious cycle of work-till-I-drop-exist-repeat.

Not surprisingly, my clothes started to feel tighter.

My hair started to fall, which drove me into a panic.

I drifted apart from friends and family because I hardly had time to see them.

When my 15-year-old dog passed away, I wished that I’d spent more time with her instead of pulling late nights at the office, but it was too late.

Pushing myself to work harder, faster and longer so I could earn more cash left me feeling disconnected from life, struggling with my health, and ironically, unmotivated to do more.

I desperately needed a different way of working and living that didn’t leave me drained of my life force.

SO I WAS BURNED OUT. NOW WHAT?

After a particularly memorable meltdown one hectic afternoon, I peeled myself off the tear-stained floor and got to work making a plan.

For the first time in a long time, I felt determined — determined to carve myself a path to a slower, simpler and less chaotic life.

I had finally reached rock bottom of my overworking era, and couldn’t see myself going on this way.

But obviously, I had to be practical about it, so I started thinking about small, gradual shifts I could make every day that would eventually build up to lasting, impactful changes to my life.

And so, my slow living journey began.

1. I Changed How I Work

Out went the additional obligations that were padding my bank account, but draining my energy and sanity.

I quit the toxic job and took a pay cut for another that was not only closer to where I live, but came with a manageable workload.

Boundaries became my best friend.

This meant no work emails on my personal devices, switching off after 7pm, and working as efficiently as I could while I was at work.

Trade-offs like less income and a tighter budget were inevitable, but to me, they were worth my being able to reclaim the two things I was no longer willing to sacrifice: My health and relationships.

It was time to prioritise living a full, meaningful life — not one where work hogged the driver’s seat.

2. I Got Serious About My Financial Health

To ‘reward’ myself for all the hard work I was putting in, I shopped.

Yep, I pretty much shopped for fun.

Thanks to online shopping, I no longer had to step away from my computer to ‘add to cart’ or physically go to a checkout counter to pay for the new (but unnecessary) pair of jeans I wanted.

With all that recreational shopping I was doing to cope with the stress I was under, it was no wonder that I needed to earn more cash to fund my new ‘hobby’.

To plug these cash leaks, I quit the impulse shopping cold turkey, started tracking my earnings and spending, and poured all the money I didn’t spend into savings and investments instead.

Years later, I had a fully-padded emergency fund, sinking funds for different areas of my life like travel, hobbies and learning, a growing investment portfolio, and even cash saved up for a new car.

3. I Got Comfortable With Saying “No”

As a former people pleaser, I said “yes” way too often, and “no”, practically never.

To make slowing down even remotely possible, I had to learn how to do the latter, and do it often.

In the beginning, I was wrecked with guilt.

But after the guilt subsided, I noticed that I also felt lighter, happier and less resentful.

The time, energy and space I reclaimed simply by saying “no, thank you” allowed me to focus my attention on the other parts of my life that I’d been neglecting.

4. I Started Simplifying My Life

The more obligations I took on, the more complicated my life got.

But once I started trimming the excesses, life felt calmer and less chaotic.

I simplified everything I could think of, starting with the obvious everyday nooks and crannies of my life, which included:

The clothes I wear. I found myself gravitating towards fluid, light-coloured, easy-to-pair neutrals — matching sets, in particular — which have lightened the mental load of trying to decide what to wear every day considerably.
The food I eat. I’ve opted for no-fuss meals using fresh, simple ingredients that take no more than 30 minutes to prepare and cook. If it takes longer than that, I just eat out.
The spaces I spend most of my time in. If it was going to be in my space, it would have to be functional with clean, simple lines, and be thoughtfully placed so it doesn’t create visual clutter. Being in a soothing space helps keep my mind calm.
My finances. A monthly budget, automated payments and a carefully thought-out investment plan makes keeping track of my numbers so much easier, and me, as close to a hands-off approach as possible.
My fitness routine. I started going to a group exercise class that takes care of both my strength and cardiovascular training. I do this at the same time of the day, three to five days a week with like-minded friends, which gets my butt to the gym whether I feel like it, or not.

I’ve found that the more I simplify, the less resistance I feel standing between me and what I want to accomplish.

5. I Created Routines And Rituals

A side effect of having too much on my plate day in and day out was that my mind constantly felt like a frazzled mess.

I’d spend my entire day jumping from one thing to another, giving myself very little space to breathe or even think.

Blocking out parts of my day with rituals and routines helped restore the space and order I craved.

Now, my morning and night routines are the anchors that help me start and end my days on solid footing.

In-between, I have my non-negotiables penciled into my schedule: My morning cup of tea, bonding time with my cat, writing, learning, working out and connecting with the people who are important to me.

I also intentionally leave gaps of unscheduled time that give me the flexibility to be spontaneous.

Of course, there are days when everything I’ve planned goes out the window.

But by and large, having these anchors in place gives me the structure I need to live with purpose and intention, and to heal from the chaos that I’d been living with for so long.

WHAT HEALING FROM BURNOUT HAS LOOKED LIKE FOR ME

Living a slower life is, as one can expect, not a process that can be hurried.

So given the leisurely nature of this healing process and the fact that I’d been keeping up my frenzied pace of working for over 20 years, I didn’t expect results overnight.

It’s still a work-in-progress, but about six months in, here’s what I noticed:

1. I Felt Less Anxious And Stressed

I found myself feeling less anxious and wound up after I removed my biggest stress trigger: Toxic, dysfunctional work environments.

Instead of using all of my mental bandwidth just to cope and get through the day, every day, I actually started to look forward to working, and finally had the mental energy to cook, exercise and nurture my relationships.

I felt like I was living a real life that wasn’t just about work, sleep and repeat.

2. I Started Sleeping Better

Another spill-over effect of eliminating my biggest source of stress was that I was finally able to fall and stay asleep more consistently throughout the night.

My sleep had gotten so bad at one point that I’d become a chronic insomniac who was hooked on sleep aids.

Now that I had the mental bandwidth to focus on improving my sleep hygiene, that’s exactly what I did, and it has laid the groundwork I desperately needed for deeper, more restful sleep.

3. I Became More Present

In the past, my relationships took a backseat because I was always preoccupied with work or some drama that was unfolding at work.

And so, even if I were with someone I cared about, I wasn’t truly with them, which meant that I was wasting my time and theirs.

This mental absenteeism had to stop.

If living a good life is about creating meaningful memories with the people who are important to me (and to me, it is), then it also means:

Being mentally and emotionally present when I’m with them.
Putting my devices away when I’m having a conversation.
Consciously making our time together a mutual connection, rather than absent-mindedly yapping about myself the whole time.
Cancelling or rescheduling whenever I feel like I won’t be able to be fully present with them.

Life is happening in the moment you’re in, so you might as well make it one that you’ll remember.

4. I Gained More Mental Clarity

Now that my brain was no longer a constantly jumbled mess of stressful thoughts, I could, for the first time in a long time, think without interruption.

This calmer, more peaceful mental and emotional state has been helping me see what’s around me, in front of me, and what’s happening within me with more clarity.

And being able to navigate through life with my eyes, mind and heart wide open has in turn, been allowing me to make better decisions.

5. I Started Feeling Happier

This refreshing combination of lowered stress, better sleep, a greater capacity to be present, and heightened mental clarity has been a quiet, but powerful happiness driver for me.

It’s not so much a loud, jump-for-joy type of happiness, but more of a peaceful, unassuming hum in the background that feels more like contentment — a reminder that true happiness is about finding joy in the small moments in life.

…BUT MY JOURNEY WASN’T WITHOUT CHALLENGES

Going into my slow living journey, I had no idea what to expect.

What I did expect though, was that as with everything else in life, it wouldn’t be a smooth ride.

This is what came up:

The Guilt Hasn’t Gone Away

I’d gotten so used to overworking that my productivity morphed into my internal measure of self-worth.

Working myself into the ground at breakneck speed day after day became so normal to me that when I slowed down, guilt started creeping in to fill up the space.

I felt like I was wasting time if I wasn’t grinding away at the keyboard.

Has this guilt gone away? Frankly, no — it’s still something I struggle with, and I’m not the least bit surprised considering how long I conditioned myself into overworking for.

On days where I feel this way, I sit still, breathe, let the guilt pass through, and keep moving at a slower, healthier pace.

I Developed A Fear Of Being Left Behind

If you spend any amount of time online (and of course you do, because you’re reading this), you’ll inevitably stumble across people who are obsessed with constant work and productivity (ie hustle culture).

They promise you promotions, riches and a bigger, better life by following in their footsteps.

If you don’t, you’ll just have to move out of the way to make room for the ones who do.

I’d bought into their ideas once before, and while being preoccupied with earning more paid off monetarily, it left me feeling poor in other areas of my life.

So although the fear of falling behind comes up now and then, I remind myself that ‘making it’ in only one area of my life isn’t how I want to live.

THE BIGGEST LESSONS I LEARNED FROM BURNING OUT

I don’t regret working as hard as I did, but I do regret letting my obsession with work and earning more get to the point where I was letting the ball drop with my relationships, physical and mental health, and ironically, my financial health.

Having come out of the other side, I’ve learned a few lessons about work, burn out and healing from the chaos:

Burnout Isn’t A Failure — It’s A Clue

Feeling yourself break down under unrelenting pressure and constant toxicity isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s your mind, body and spirit telling you that the situation you’re in is unhealthy and unsustainable.

When constant exhaustion, crappy sleep, self-doubt, chronic negativity and serious health issues start showing up, it’s time to pay attention like your life depends on it, because it does.

Slowing Down Isn’t Lazy. It’s Smarter

Taking a step back to slow down, rest or give yourself the space and time to re-assess the path you’re on doesn’t make you a bum.

It means that you’re intuitive and self-aware enough to know that it’s not working, and are choosing to do something about it.

Never be afraid to question the status quo, even when no one else is.

There’s More To Life Than Work

I’ve seen way too many obituaries of former colleagues — both younger and older — pop up in the papers and my social media feeds over the years, and every single one that I come across reminds me that life is too short to spend working yourself into the ground.

Know what you want out of your career, but also know that a lifetime spent at the office means you won’t have much of a life outside of it.

Realise that the people who love and want you in their lives won’t care that there was always a work emergency to fix on the weekend — they’ll only remember that you were never around when it mattered.

Remember to stop and smell the roses, take the baby blue skies in, and say “yes” to that new adventure your best friend wants to take you on.

Life is so much bigger than your cubicle or even that corner office that was promised to you, on someone else’s terms.

PRACTICAL WAYS TO MAKE SLOW LIVING WORK FOR YOU

You don’t get burned out by working with purpose and intention at a healthy, sustainable pace.

But if you’ve been chronically overworked and exhausted for years, where do you even begin to slow down?

Slow Down Where You Feel Rushed

Think back to parts of your day where you’ve typically felt harried, frantic or agitated.

What are you doing, where are you doing it, and who are you with?

Now ask yourself: Is it a part of your life that can be simplified or outsourced so that rushing through it isn’t something you have to do anymore?

Start With Something Small

Feeling overwhelmed or terrified at the idea of slowing down when you’re used to high-speed living?

Try starting with something that’s got nothing to do with work; something so small that it’s literally fool-proof, like:

Sitting down for 10 minutes to have your morning cup of tea with no distractions instead of multitasking in-between sips.
Spending 15 minutes on Sundays picking out and putting aside five outfits to wear throughout the week so you don’t have to rummage through your wardrobe in the mornings.
Starting to feel anxious or overwhelmed? Head outside for a stroll around the block, giving yourself some space and time to clear your head.

Once you’ve successfully tackled these, pick one thing that will help simplify your work life, and then widen your depth from there.

Protect Your Downtime

When slowing down is your priority, the word “no” is your best friend.

Think about it: If you don’t advocate for your time, energy and well-being, who will?

Learning to say “yes” only to what feels right for you lets the unnecessary fall away, opening up more opportunities to breathe, be present and feel alive.

Create Work Boundaries

Physical, mental and emotional boundaries don’t only help keep your personal relationships healthy — they do the same for you at work.

If you don’t draw the lines when it comes to communication, respect and expectations, someone else will.

Think: Texts from your boss at 10pm (or pretty much whenever he feels like it), you being dragged into the latest office drama, and having no control over what you’re working on, where you’re working and how you’re working.

Without boundaries, burnout is inevitable.

Recognise That Healing Takes Time

I started my burnout healing journey four years ago, and it’s still a work-in-progress.

I don’t know how long this process will take, but I’ve realised that walking this path is no different from that of healing from other kinds of trauma.

It’s going to take time to get to a place that’s softer, slower and lighter — one that’s not peppered with anxiety, exhaustion and dread.

The longer you’ve been grinding and coping with the toxicity, I suspect the longer your journey will be, and that’s OK.

This journey is yours, and no one else’s.

Review Your Slow Living Progress Periodically

Don’t forget to check in with yourself regularly to see how you’re doing.

I do this once every three to four months, and when I do, I ask myself three questions:

Is what I’m doing giving me energy, or is it taking it away?
Do I have balance in my life with the way I’m currently working?
Do I have space to think, breathe and be present in my everyday life?

If I’ve answered “no” to any of these questions, it’s time to recalibrate so that I can work towards a “yes”.

I’ve overworked myself to the point of crash and burn long enough to know that it’s not how I want to work, ever again.

It’s about time we reframed rest and play as opportunities to fuel and recharge, instead of judging both as a waste of time or laziness.

You only get one shot at this life, so you might as well work and live the way you want to.

HELPFUL RESOURCES

Simplify Your Life: 100 Ways To Slow Down And Enjoy The Things That Really Matter by Elaine St. James I got my hands on this treasure over 15 years ago, way before simple living and minimalism became popular, and it was the first resource that introduced me to practical, everyday steps I could take to ‘un-complicate’ my life. I didn’t have enough life experience then to ‘get’ everything that St. James presents in this book, but when I revisit the pages of Simplify Your Life now, they make perfect sense. If you’re just starting out in your simple living journey and are exploring your possibilities, I highly recommend giving this a read first. Get your copy here.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying: A Simple, Effective Way To Banish Clutter Forever by Marie Kondo Being able to pay attention to the little things in your life starts with decluttering — not the easiest thing to do if your living (or even work) space is disorganised and drowning in stuff. This is my bible as far as tidying up my space and keeping it that way goes. Get your copy here.

The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life by Joshua Becker with Eric Stanford In this detailed home decluttering guide, Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist walks you through the mental, emotional, physical and financial toll our desire for more ‘stuff’ has been taking on us, how minimalism at home can set you free, and how to go about reclaim your space using what he calls The Becker Method. Get your copy here.

Audible Premium Plus Want to learn more about minimalism but don’t want to clutter your home with more physical books? Try listening to them instead. Get A FREE 1-month Audible Premium Plus membership, which gives you access to the entire Audible catalog of audiobooks, podcasts and Audible Originals series, in addition to a free audiobook of your choice each month. Sign up for your free month here.

START SIMPLIFYING YOUR LIFE.

Having trouble leaving behind the clutter, excess and drama that’s making you feel suffocated? Start shedding the stuff that’s holding you down along with everything that’s not contributing to your health, wealth and happiness with my FREE Simple Living Guide. Get your copy of this guide-and-workbook-in-one here.

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