Are You Living Or Just Existing?

Where are you right now?

And I don’t mean your physical location.

What I really mean is, is your mind really here…or somewhere else?

I started asking myself this question often after my 16-year-old dog died a couple of years ago.

Despite all those years I had her, my memories of our time together were watercolour-blurry at best.

At worst, it was a black hole because I couldn’t remember much of anything.

I remember the day I brought her home — how she slowly and cautiously stepped out of her crate and into my arms, her little tail wagging.

But as time went on, I became so consumed with work and the drama of life (a lot of which was unnecessary) that I failed give not just her, but my family, friendships and well-being the attention they needed to thrive.

Making money and making it through the day, every single day and in one piece took up so much of my time and energy that I had very little left for anything else.

Looking back now, I realize that for years, I simply existed.

I existed to work, fulfill my responsibilities, cope, sleep, eat and repeat.

But as time went by and I grew more weary of the grind, I developed a yearning for so much more than that.

I wanted to live.

I wanted more time, more peace, more joy and more control over my life.

And I wanted all those things because I know one thing’s for sure: I’m going to die one day. I just don’t know when or how.

I don’t get to have any control over my departure, but I do get to have a say in how I’m going to live from this moment on.

And so do you.

So these days, this is how I roll:

I PRIORITIZE RUTHLESSLY

I have to.

If I don’t, I know nothing will change.

I set boundaries at my full-time job so that it didn’t consume my every waking hour.

This meant heading to the office at 8am, working with as much focus and efficiency as possible while I was on the clock, taking fewer breaks and leaving at 6pm sharp so I could tend to everything else that was important to me: My fitness, spending time with my family, cooking healthier meals, working on my passion projects and getting enough sleep.

When it became clear that hustling and grinding long after the sun went down was prized instead of frowned upon as a sign of inefficiency, I left.

I let go of the people in my life who were sucking my energy, optimism and generosity so I can spend more time with people who actually make my life better.

I started saving and investing more — having F*ck You Money is important to me because I refuse to be trapped in toxic situations that can be fixed simply by having enough cash in the bank.

If something isn’t working, I learn my lesson, cut my losses and move on instead of lingering needlessly the way I used to.

Life is short so I might as well spend the limited time I have here on earth doing what’s important to me on my terms.

I FORCE MYSELF TO BE PRESENT

I now put my phone away when I’m with friends, family and colleagues (or just about anyone I’m having a conversation with).

I want to remember all the little details — what we wore, what we ate, what we talked about, where we were, what music was playing, whether it was a full moon — instead of just passing time and going through the motions absent-mindedly.

I’ve had enough of black holes for one lifetime.

I want light-filled paths and warm, fuzzy memories that make me smile when I remember them, not dark, depressing voids that fill me with regret.

I’M LEARNING TO SLOW DOWN

Not everything has to be instant or move at the speed of light.

When I tire of how quickly everything moves, I go sit with my sleeping, purring cat or go outside to potter around in my garden, where the pace of life is exactly the way it should be.

When I need a break, I’ll sleep in, take my time cooking a delicious meal or just sit outside with a hot, steaming cup of tea.

Sometimes, I’ll do absolutely nothing.

My goal? To be able to live instead of just exist, guilt-free.

I’m not quite there yet, but I know I’ll get there…eventually.


START FEELING CALMER, HAPPIER & HEALTHIER…NOW.

If you’re too busy surviving, chances are, you’re not thriving. You’re feeling tired, unhealthy, unmotivated and just plain worn-out from life. I created my FREE Daily Self-Care Ritual Workbook just for busy folks like you who want to take back their health, peace of mind and happiness. Get your very own copy of the workbook HERE. No spam. Just helpful, good-for-you stuff. Pinky swear.


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