Simple Living: A Beginner's Guide To Living A Less Complicated Life

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If I told you that life was simple, would you believe me?

Your answer would probably be “no”, and I wouldn’t blame you.

Everywhere we turn, there’s excess. At every corner, someone is scrambling for more, more, more; trying to outdo Mrs Jones from next door; or climbing over everyone around them to get on top, ahead, front and center.

But the thing is, the more of life I strive to experience without all this noise, the more I realize that it’s all actually very simple.

It often gets complicated thanks to a series of unfortunate decisions on our part, or if we’re unlucky, find ourselves suffering the consequences of someone else’s series of bad decisions.

But once you strip away these ‘complications’, life tends to feel less heavy.

Your heart opens up and gratitude rushes in.

It gets easier to breathe and just be in the moment.

You get hopeful and start thinking about possibilities instead of dead ends.

Having gone down multiple rabbit holes that were messes of my own doing and dealt with toxic situations that others had gotten me into, I’ve come a long way as far as simplifying my life goes.

And having gone through multiple iterations of ‘simple living’ and what it ultimately meant for me, I’ve realized that living simply goes far beyond minimalism.

It’s not just about doing away with clutter in most areas of my life ― it’s about reducing the complications that inevitably pile up as I go through the ins and outs, ups and downs of life.

Let’s put it this way: Simplifying your life is like giving it a deep clean, and then being intentional about keeping it that way.

So how do you start simplifying when you’re used to living a chaotic, complicated existence? Here’s how to take those first baby steps:

1. SEPARATE THE IMPORTANT FROM THE URGENT

Just because something (or someone) needs your attention now, doesn’t mean that it’s important.

The next time something urgent comes your way, ask yourself these two questions:

Who’s asking? Is it that acquaintance you haven’t seen in 3 years begging you for a favour, or your sister asking to have a conversation about something that’s been weighing heavily on her mind?
Why are they asking? Will the outcome of tending to what’s being asked of you have a positive impact on your life (like say, your family, a close friendship or career, for instance)?

If the who and why are important to you, there’s your answer.

2. PROTECT YOUR PEACE

Yes, be kind, but never allow yourself to be someone else’s doormat or a dump site for their problems and negativity.

Boundaries are more important than ever when someone’s intent on dragging you into their own insecurity-, emotional immaturity-driven drama ― the guilt-tripping, indiscriminate emotional dumping, screaming, name-calling, blaming and shaming.

If someone in your life isn’t able to respect your boundaries, or simply won’t resolve conflicts the way adults should, this is your cue to disengage, then keep a healthy amount of distance between you and the drama.

3. DON’T BELIEVE ALL YOUR THOUGHTS

Your human mind was built to keep you alive and safe from danger, not happy and thriving.

This is why being aware of your primal tendency get hung up on the bad can help save you from unnecessary, self-inflicted suffering.

Just because a thought pops into your head, it doesn’t mean it’s true — no, everyone doesn’t hate you, and no one’s laughing at you at the gym.

Here’s another good reason to filter and reframe your perspective: Thinking negative, self-limiting thoughts doesn’t just eat away at your self-esteem, it limits the possibilities available to you by making your world much smaller.

Thinking positive (not to be confused with toxic positivity) and growth-oriented thoughts, on the other hand, makes your world bigger by smashing the four walls you may have otherwise boxed yourself in with.

And just as importantly, it’ll help keep the mental clutter (read: endless ruminating, psychoanalyzing and overthinking) from piling up, and you, in the present.

4. GET YOURSELF TOGETHER

If your life feels scattered and chaotic, it’s never too late to put your pieces back together.

Start with the small, everyday things: Make your bed. Take a shower. Brush your teeth. Get a haircut.

Go for a walk. Soak up the morning sun for 10 minutes. Make a simple, nourishing meal. Wear something that you feel comfortable and confident in. Lift heavy things to strengthen your muscles, joints, bones and confidence.

Go for therapy to sort out your traumas and mental kinks so you don’t create unnecessary suffering for yourself and others.

Take care of your inner world, and your outer world will get better.

Do something meaningful that also gives you a sense of purpose. If you’re lucky, your work will fill your days with both. If it doesn’t, keep looking until you find something that does.

Get out of debt. Save more. Invest the money you’ve saved so that it’ll work for you when you’re older and not able to work.

Putting the pieces of your life back together may feel like an impossible, uphill task when you’re sprawled face-down on the ground, but remember that every step taken starts with a crawl.

5. GET COMFORTABLE WITH DISCOMFORT

I have a confession to make: Despite having worked as a fitness trainer, and advocating regular exercise for as long as I can remember, I hate working out.

I just don’t like it.

I don’t like the sweating, physical struggle and post-workout soreness that comes with it. Also, exercising is effing hard.

I’d rather be lying on the couch stuffing my face with pizza and ice-cream.

But hey, I also hate going to the dentist and taking out the trash, and we all know what happens when all of these things don’t happen.

Filth and sludge build up. You feel sluggish and unwell. Your body starts to break down. Life becomes bad.

To have a life that’s relatively complication free — think keeping the doctor away, not dreading coming home to a filthy, cluttered home, and having a full set of teeth when you’re 80 — you have to do the not-so-fun stuff, and do them consistently.

6. CHOOSE YOUR PEOPLE CAREFULLY

This is one lesson I’ve learned the hard way over decades.

Some that I’ve let into my life have made it better, and made me a better, wiser person. In fact, being around them feels like a shot of oxygen, inspiring me to grow.

Some introduced nothing but chaos, turmoil and more dysfunction into my world, bringing out the worst in me.

And then there have been others who weren’t bad people, but spending time with them left me feeling massively drained, uneasy or just plain depressed.

The relationships we have with others can complicate our lives for the worse, or simplify it for the better, so don’t be afraid to ruthlessly filter who you allow to enter, and keep in your world.

7. LOOSEN YOUR GRIP

Even better, let go completely.

Life gets heavy, and the longer you live, the heavier it tends to feel because you accumulate baggage and traumas along the way.

Add to that, the on-going stresses of having to constantly deal with other people and new, difficult experiences that crop up (and trust me, they will), and you’ve got the perfect recipe for more complications within and around you.

The antidote for lighter shoulders (and a clear mind): Relax your white-knuckled iron fists, and let go.

Let go of what isn’t yours to carry.

Let go of battles that aren’t yours to fight.

Let go of the need to fix other people.

Let go when the outcome of fighting that valiant battle won’t make your life any better.

It’s not easy, but sometimes, you have to take a deep breath and let that shit go so you can make more room in your life for the good stuff.

8. GET TO KNOW YOURSELF BETTER

Knowing who you are will allow you to keep your feet firmly on solid ground and unwanted complications, at arm’s length, where they belong.

Without a strong foundation to stand on — knowing your values, weaknesses, strengths, likes, dislikes, priorities, what you stand for, and just as importantly, what your boundaries are — you’ll forever be at the mercy of the people around you.

If you’re constantly doing things that make you feel uneasy or find yourself flip-flopping in every direction other than the one that feels right for you in the name of fitting in or pleasing other people, it’s probably time to turn inward to figure out who you are and what you truly want out of life.

Ultimately, simplifying your life isn’t any different from tending to your garden: Sowing the right seeds, nourishing them, giving them space to grow, and then removing the weeds consistently so that they will flourish.

With all the right ingredients in place, life will start to feel lighter, bigger and less complicated.

HELPFUL RESOURCES

Simplify Your Life: 100 Ways To Slow Down And Enjoy The Things That Really Matter by Elaine St. James I got my hands on this treasure over 15 years ago, way before simple living and minimalism became popular, and it was the first resource that introduced me to practical, everyday steps I could take to ‘un-complicate’ my life. I didn’t have enough life experience then to ‘get’ everything that St. James presents in this book, but when I revisit the pages of Simplify Your Life now, they make perfect sense. If you’re just starting out in your simple living journey and are exploring your possibilities, I highly recommend giving this a read first. Get your copy here.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying: A Simple, Effective Way To Banish Clutter Forever by Marie Kondo Being able to pay attention to the little things in your life starts with decluttering — not the easiest thing to do if your living (or even work) space is disorganised and drowning in stuff. This is my bible as far as tidying up my space and keeping it that way goes. Get your copy here.

The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life by Joshua Becker with Eric Stanford In this detailed home decluttering guide, Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist walks you through the mental, emotional, physical and financial toll our desire for more ‘stuff’ has been taking on us, how minimalism at home can set you free, and how to go about reclaim your space using what he calls The Becker Method. Get your copy here.

Audible Premium Plus Want to learn more about minimalism but don’t want to clutter your home with more physical books? Try listening to them instead. Get A FREE 1-month Audible Premium Plus membership, which gives you access to the entire Audible catalog of audiobooks, podcasts and Audible Originals series, in addition to a free audiobook of your choice each month. Sign up for your free month here.

START SIMPLIFYING YOUR LIFE.

Having trouble leaving behind the clutter, excess and drama that’s making you feel suffocated? Start shedding the stuff that’s holding you down along with everything that’s not contributing to your health, wealth and happiness with my FREE Simple Living Guide. Get your copy of this guide-and-workbook-in-one here.

Simple Living: A Beginner’s Guide To Living A Less Complicated Life